Days 2–7

Traditional funeral — includes a visitation or viewing, a formal service at a funeral home or place of worship, and a graveside committal. Typically held within 3–7 days of death.

Celebration of life — less formal, focused on honoring the person's life and personality. Can happen anywhere and at any time — weeks or months after death if needed. Allows more time for planning and for out-of-town family to travel.

Graveside service — a brief, intimate gathering at the burial or interment site only. Simple and meaningful.

Private family gathering — a small, informal gathering with no public announcement. Chosen by families who prefer privacy or simplicity.

No service — some families choose not to hold a formal gathering. Disposition is handled quietly. This is a valid choice.

There is no obligation to hold any particular kind of service. The right choice is the one that honors the person and feels right to the people who loved them.

An obituary typically includes:

• Full name, age, and date of death
• City of residence
• A brief biography — work, passions, what they were known for
• Survivors (spouse, children, siblings, grandchildren)
• Service details (date, time, location)
• Memorial donation preferences, if any

Where to publish:

• Your funeral home's website (usually included in their services)
• Local newspaper (fees vary; many papers now publish online only)
• Legacy.com or a similar memorial site
• Social media, if appropriate for your family

Who writes it: Your funeral home may offer to draft it, or you can write it yourself. Many families find writing it together — gathering memories from different people — to be a meaningful part of the process.

If you'd like help writing it, we can assist with that.

Social Security should be notified as soon as possible after a death. Your funeral home typically does this automatically when they file the death certificate — confirm with them.

If you need to notify Social Security directly:

• Phone: 1-800-772-1213 (TTY: 1-800-325-0778)
• In person: Visit your local Social Security office

Important: Any Social Security payment deposited after the month of death must be returned. If a direct deposit arrives, do not spend it — contact Social Security to return it.

Survivor benefits: If the deceased was receiving Social Security, a surviving spouse or dependent children may be eligible for survivor benefits. Ask Social Security about this when you call.

The Department of Veterans Affairs provides several benefits for eligible veterans:

Burial benefits may include:

• Burial in a national cemetery at no cost
• A grave marker or headstone
• A burial flag
• A Presidential Memorial Certificate
• Burial allowance (if the veteran was receiving VA pension or disability)

Survivor benefits may include:

• Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC) for surviving spouses
• VA pension for surviving spouses with limited income
• Education benefits for dependent children

To file a claim: Contact the VA at 1-800-827-1000 or visit your nearest VA regional office. You will need the veteran's discharge papers (DD-214) and death certificate.

Whether you're planning a traditional funeral, a celebration of life, or something in between, the elements are similar:

The gathering itself:

• Venue — where it will be held
• Officiant or celebrant — who will lead the service
• Order of service — the structure of the event
• Music — live, recorded, or both
• Readings, eulogies, or tributes
• Visual elements — photos, displays, memory tables

Supporting elements:

• Flowers and décor
• Catering or reception
• Memorial program or printed materials
• Obituary and public notice
• Memorial keepsakes for attendees

Logistics:

• Date and time
• Guest communication
• Parking and accessibility
• Out-of-town guest coordination

You don't need to decide everything at once. Start with the date and venue — everything else follows from those.

An officiant or celebrant leads the memorial service. They may be:

• A religious leader (minister, priest, rabbi, imam) if the service has a religious dimension
• A civil celebrant — a trained professional who creates personalized, non-religious ceremonies
• A family member or close friend who is comfortable speaking publicly
• A funeral home staff member (some offer this service)

What to look for in a celebrant:

• Experience with memorial services
• Willingness to meet with family and learn about the person who died
• A style that matches the tone you want — formal, warm, personal, spiritual

Questions to ask:

• Have you led services like this before?
• How do you prepare? Will you meet with us?
• What is your fee?
• Are you available on our preferred date?

Common venue options:

Funeral home — most have dedicated chapel or gathering space included in their services. Convenient and handled for you.

Place of worship — meaningful for religious families. Often familiar to the community. Confirm availability and any requirements with the clergy.

Outdoor location — parks, gardens, beaches, family property. Suits celebrations of life and families who want a natural setting. Check permit requirements and have a weather contingency.

Private residence — intimate and personal. Best for small gatherings. Consider parking, space, and catering logistics.

Event venue — restaurant private room, community hall, winery, museum. Flexible and often includes catering. Good for celebrations of life with a reception component.

What to confirm when booking:

• Capacity for your expected guest count
• Accessibility for elderly or mobility-impaired guests
• AV equipment (microphone, screen for photos)
• Parking
• Catering kitchen or outside catering allowed
• Cost and deposit requirements

Floral arrangements for memorial services typically include some combination of:

• Casket spray — the primary arrangement placed on or near the casket
• Standing sprays — floor arrangements flanking the casket or altar
• Altar or table arrangements — centerpieces for the venue
• Personal flowers — corsages or boutonnieres for immediate family

Personalizing flowers:

• The deceased's favorite flowers or colors
• Flowers that reflect their personality or heritage
• Seasonal or locally grown flowers
• Arrangements that reflect cultural or religious traditions

Alternatives to flowers: Some families prefer to ask guests to make donations to a charity in lieu of flowers. This is a common and well-understood request — include it in the obituary if you'd like.

Cost range: Simple arrangements start around $150–300. A full floral design for a large service can reach several thousand dollars.

A reception after the service gives family and friends time to share memories and be together. It can be as simple or as elaborate as feels right.

Options:

• Light refreshments — coffee, tea, finger foods, dessert. Appropriate for any size gathering. Most common for post-funeral receptions.
• Seated meal — a full meal, more formal. Common for celebrations of life where family has traveled from out of town.
• Cocktail reception — passed appetizers and drinks, social atmosphere. Suits celebrations of life with a more festive tone.

Catering sources:

• Your venue may provide food and beverage service
• A restaurant or catering company
• Family and friends (potluck-style receptions are common and meaningful)
• A grocery store or deli for simple setups

What to confirm:

• Guest count estimate
• Dietary restrictions or allergies
• Setup and cleanup included?
• Serving staff needed?

Memorial keepsakes are physical objects that help family and friends remember and honor the person who died.

Common types:

• Photo book or album — a printed collection of photographs and memories. Can be created quickly using online services and distributed to family members.
• Memorial jewelry — pendants or rings incorporating cremated remains, a fingerprint, or a lock of hair. Intimate and wearable.
• Urn or vessel — the container for cremated remains. Options range from simple and understated to highly personalized works of art. If cremation was chosen, this is both a practical necessity and a keepsake.
• Custom artwork — painted portraits, illustrated memorial prints, or other commissioned pieces based on photos.
• Memorial candles, ornaments, or garden stones — smaller, distributable keepsakes for attendees.

Timing: Some keepsakes can be created before the service and displayed or distributed there. Others are ordered afterward. Don't feel pressure to decide everything now.

Music is one of the most personal elements of a memorial service. There are no rules.

Options:

• Recorded music — a playlist played before, during, or after the service. Simple and flexible.
• Live musician — a soloist, pianist, guitarist, or small ensemble. More personal and moving.
• Choir or ensemble — appropriate for religious services or larger gatherings.
• Guest participation — inviting attendees to sing together can be powerful.

What to consider:

• Songs the person loved or that were meaningful to them
• Songs that reflect their personality or life
• Songs that feel right for the tone you want — celebratory, reflective, spiritual, joyful

If using live music:

• Book early — musicians have limited availability
• Provide sheet music or recordings in advance
• Confirm sound system requirements with the venue

A memorial program (also called an order of service) is a printed document that guides attendees through the service and serves as a keepsake.

Typical contents:

• Name, dates, and a photo of the person who died
• Order of service (welcome, readings, music, eulogies, committal)
• Names of officiants, speakers, and musicians
• Lyrics to any songs guests will sing
• A brief biography or tribute
• Information about memorial donations

How to create one:

• Your funeral home may offer this as part of their services
• Online services like Canva, Evite, or dedicated memorial program sites offer templates
• A local print shop can produce them quickly

Quantity: Plan for the number of expected attendees plus 20–30 extras for family members who couldn't attend.

As service details come together, guests will have questions: Where is it? What time? Where should they stay? Is there a reception?

Designating a communications coordinator to handle these questions protects your energy for what matters most.

What the coordinator handles:

• Responding to calls and messages about service details
• Sharing the obituary and service information
• Coordinating with out-of-town guests about travel and accommodation
• Managing the guest book or online memorial page
• Collecting condolence messages to share with the family later