Day 1

You are likely in acute shock, even if you don't feel like it. Protect yourself. With very few exceptions, most major financial and legal decisions can wait until the coming days, allowing you to focus on the immediate priorities of the first 24 hours.

What doesn’t need to happen right away, unless religious or cultural traditions mandate a specific timeline or process:

• Selecting the funeral home, cremation, or other provider for body care or disposition services
• Deciding between burial, cremation, or another option to lay the body to rest
• Notifying extended family, neighbors, coworkers, or posting on social media
• Locating the will or financial documents
• Making any financial or legal decisions

If someone is pushing you to make decisions immediately, be skeptical. It's possible they don't have your best interest in mind.

Your biggest action item in the first two hours is to establish what happened and who is in charge. Take note of who pronounced the death, when exactly it occurred, where the body is, and who has legal responsibility for it. Every downstream process depends on this information.

IN ANY SITUATION

Regardless of how or where the death occurred, record:

• The official date and time of death. These are required for the death certificate, which will be needed for legal and financial matters.
• The name and contact information for the staff member, official, or person who is currently in charge.
• The location of the body right now.
• Any time-sensitive requests made of you.

IF YOU RECEIVED A CALL (FROM A HOSPITAL, FACILITY, HOSPICE, OR ANOTHER PERSON)

Write down:

• The name and direct number of the person who notified you
• The full name of the facility, address, and unit or floor (if applicable) where the death occurred
• The official time of death as given to you
• Any reference or case number they provided
• Any instructions or requests they made (e.g., "We need to know your funeral home preference within 24 hours.")

IF CLINICAL STAFF WAS PRESENT WHEN THEY DIED (IN A HOSPITAL ROOM, HOSPICE FACILITY, OR AT HOME WITH HOSPICE STAFF OR UNDER HOSPICE CARE)

Any clinical staff present (e.g., a nurse, hospice worker, or physician) will record the official pronouncement of death. If you are in the room or facility, ask staff directly:

• What is the official time of death?
• What happens next?
• How much time before the body needs to move?

Remember you do not have to rush. Most settings allow families time to be with the person before transport arrangements are made.

If they died at home under hospice care and no staff member is present, call the hospice on-call line, not 911. The hospice nurse will handle the pronouncement and set the next steps in motion. You can stay with the body while you wait for staff to arrive.

IF THE DEATH HAPPENED WITHOUT CLINICAL STAFF PRESENT, OR AT HOME NOT UNDER HOSPICE CARE

Call 911 if you have not already. Do not move the body. Law enforcement and (in some cases) the medical examiner or coroner will respond. This is legally required regardless of the apparent cause. Note that the body cannot go to a funeral home until the medical examiner releases it.

Understand where the body is, who has legal custody of it, and how much time you have to make arrangements. Religious and cultural traditions may also inform the decisions you need to make and when; a licensed funeral director or religious leader can help you navigate these decisions.

Most families call a funeral home or cremation provider to transport their loved one. It's ok if you're not sure yet about burial, cremation, or other options for laying them to rest. It's common to use one provider for the body transport, and use another for burial, cremation, or other services (often referred to as "disposition"), though there are additional fees each time the body is moved to a new location.

See the step in this handbook called "Burial, cremation, and eco-friendly options: Understanding body care (disposition)" to learn about the ways you can lay your loved one to rest.

IF THEY DIED AT A HOSPITAL OR NURSING FACILITY

The facility will keep the body in a temperature-controlled room for a defined period for 24-72 hours before requiring removal. Ask the staff directly how much time you have before a funeral home or other provider should contact them, and ensure you receive a specific answer.

If you are still at the facility, you are not required to leave immediately. Most places will allow family time with the body before transport is arranged.

You'll often receive a list of funeral homes from the hospital or hospice. You don't have to use one from that list. It's ok to call a few and compare prices.

IF THEY DIED AT HOME UNDER HOSPICE CARE

Do not call 911. If hospice staff isn’t there, call the hospice on-call line. If they are already there, they will handle the official death pronouncement. Many states permit the body to remain at home for several hours or longer before transport is required (rules vary by state). You have time before you need to call a funeral home or other provider. The hospice team will stay with you and guide the next steps, including when transport needs to be arranged.

The hospice team may give you a list of funeral homes in the area. You don't have to use one from that list. It's ok to call a few and compare prices.

IF THE DEATH HAPPENED WITHOUT CLINICAL STAFF PRESENT, OR AT HOME NOT UNDER HOSPICE CARE

If you discovered the death and have not already called 911, do so now. The body cannot be transported to a funeral home until released by the medical examiner. Note that this process cannot be bypassed or expedited though you may ask the medical examiner’s office when release is expected. You can begin researching and selecting a funeral home or other provider in the meantime if you wish, but do not arrange transport until the release is authorized.

When Medical Examiner or Coroner Involvement Is Required

Deaths outside of a medical facility or hospice care legally require investigation by the county medical examiner or coroner before a funeral home or other disposition service can take custody. This is not an accusation about the death, but legally required in:

• Death where no physician is present
• Unexpected death (any cause)
• Death within 24 hours of hospital admission
• Death immediately following surgery or anesthesia
• Any suspicious or unexplained circumstances
• Accident, trauma, or injury-related death
• Certain deaths occurring in a nursing facility (depending on the state)

The medical examiner may order an autopsy, which you generally cannot refuse if ordered. The body cannot leave the medical examiner’s custody until released, which can vary from hours to several days. During this time, you can select a funeral home who will coordinate the pickup once the body is released.

Your first call to a funeral home or other transport service: What to say

Making this call does not mean you are selecting a funeral home or making any final decisions. You will not need to sign any contracts on this first call unless you choose to. Tell them:

• Where the body is
• When the body is available for pickup
• That you will schedule a full arrangement conference within 24-48 hours (if you're considering using them for other services)

LEGAL AUTHORITY OF DISPOSITION

In most U.S. states, next-of-kin (the closest living blood relative or legally recognized family member) has the legal authority to make disposition decisions in a defined order of priority:

Typical legal authority priority order (varies by state)

1. The person named in the advance directive or pre-arranged funeral contract (depending on the state, this can override family)
2. Surviving spouse or domestic partner
3. Adult children (majority vote if multiple)
4. Parents of the deceased
5. Siblings

Disagreement between family members about everything from disposition options to burial location to service type are very common and can spiral quickly. Before taking any irreversible steps, you may choose to consult an estate attorney for mediation.

Announcing a death is often a delicate dance that must account for people’s feelings, relationship with the person, and need-to-know status.

Remember that you don't have to be the one to make every call. Focus on the ones that are most important to you. Ask a family member or friend to handle the rest.

Here's how many families prioritize outreach and announcements:

In the first few hours, notify:

• Those closest to the person who died (e.g., spouse or partner, children, siblings, close friends)
• Anyone who would be hurt to hear about the death secondhand later
• Anyone who may need to make travel arrangements
• Caregivers who will be affected by the change in duties in the coming days

In the first few days, notify:

• Their employer or workplace
• Extended family and friends not in the immediate circle
• Religious community or clergy

When you contact the HR department of the person's employer or workplace, ask about:

• Final paycheck — when it will be issued and how
• Accrued PTO — whether unused vacation or sick time is paid out
• Group life insurance — if they had employer-provided coverage, ask for the claims process
• COBRA — if you or dependents were on their health insurance, you have 60 days to elect COBRA continuation coverage
• Pension or 401(k) — ask about beneficiary claims and rollover options

When service details are finalized:

• Make a public announcement on social media or in the newspaper (ensure all close family knows before making a public post/announcement)
• Notify neighbors, acquaintances, and community members
• Notify professional or organizational contacts

Your loved one’s life included obligations—the place they lived, the dependents and pets they cared for (if any), and the possessions they owned. Make sure those obligations are accounted for and someone is assigned to take them on:

• Did they care for anyone else like a child, elderly partner, or other family member?
• Who will secure the home (check locks, mow the lawn, and retrieve mail)? Is there a spare key?
• Is there an animal that needs immediate care?
• Are there medications in the home? Controlled substances (opioids, etc.) should not be left unsecured or thrown in the trash—dispose them through DEA take-back programs.

No items of value should be removed (yet) Note that until the estate is settled, no items of value should be removed from the home. If the home is accessible by multiple family members, establish clear rules early to avoid personal property disputes.

In the coming hours and days, the ordinary logistics of life still need to happen. It helps to name someone who can coordinate things like:

• Meals and groceries
• Childcare or school pickup
• Pet care
• Hosting out-of-town family who may be arriving

You can even use a platform like Rallee to let people know what you need, and you can send it when someone asks how they can help.

As you start making important decisions in the coming days, you'll need to understand the requirements, benefits, and guidance in key legal documents, if they exist.

The most important documents to confirm and review in the first few days are:

• Pre-arranged funeral contract: This is a legally binding contract with a specific funeral home, paid in advance. It determines who handles the arrangements and at what cost. It may also name who has the legal authority to make body care (disposition) decisions about burial, cremation, or other options.
• Advance directive (living will): While primarily used for medical decisions while the person is living, some include an "Appointment of Agent to Control Disposition of Remains." This names who has the legal authority to make body care (disposition) decisions about burial, cremation, or other options.
• Military DD-214 (if veteran): You'll need this to access a number of no cost burial and memorial benefits, available to eligible U.S. military veterans of any branch in any era. Learn more here.

Other documents to start gathering are listed below. We'll discuss in more detail later—during weeks 2-4.

• Will and/or trust documents: When you find it, make sure to review with an estate attorney before taking any actions. Typically needs to be filed with a probate court (this is simply a court that manages wills, estates, conservatorships, and guardianships). The process can take days, weeks, or much longer for complicated estates.
• Life insurance policies: employer group and individual
• Social Security card and Medicare card
• Birth certificate
• Marriage certificates
• Divorce decrees
• Property deeds
• Vehicle titles
• Recent tax returns (helpful for identifying income sources and financial accounts)
• Financial account statements: bank, brokerage, retirement
• Any passwords or digital accounts