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Day 1
You don't have to do this alone. Establish key details. Transfer the body. Notify close family and friends.
Day 1
6 topics
In the first few hours after the death, your only immediate jobs are to understand where the body is and who has authority over it, reach the people who need to know in the next few hours, and record the key facts about what happened and who is involved.
Through the rest of the first day, some key logistics are set in motion—but you are still not racing the clock on most decisions. Religious and cultural traditions may also inform the decisions you need to make and when; a licensed funeral director or religious leader can help you navigate them.
2.1
Understand your options for the body
Knowing what's available helps you make an informed choice rather than a pressured one.
The first practical decision is what happens to the body. You have more options and more time than you may realize.
Burial places the body in a casket and interrs it in a cemetery. It preserves the body and provides a fixed place to visit. It is typically the most expensive option.
Cremation uses heat to reduce the body to ashes (cremated remains), which can be kept, scattered, or buried. It is generally less expensive and more flexible in timing.
Aquamation (also called alkaline hydrolysis or water cremation) uses water and alkali rather than flame. It produces a similar result to cremation and is considered more environmentally gentle. It is legal in a growing number of states.
Body donation gives the body to a medical school or research institution at no cost to the family. The institution handles final disposition and may return cremated remains after a period of time.
If the person who died left written wishes or had a pre-paid plan, those should guide this decision. If not, this is yours to make — and there is no wrong answer.
You do not have to decide today if the body is in the care of a hospital or hospice facility. Ask them how much time you have.
2.2
Contact a funeral home or care provider
The funeral home coordinates the care of the body and most of the paperwork — this is the most important call of the first day.
The funeral home (also called a funeral parlor or mortuary) is your primary partner for the next several days. They will:
- Take custody of and care for the body
- File the death certificate with the state
- Coordinate with the cemetery or cremation facility
- Guide you through the arrangement conference
What to look for:
- Licensed and in good standing with your state
- Transparent pricing (the FTC Funeral Rule requires them to give you a price list)
- Willing to answer questions without pressure
What to ask when you call:
- Are you available to take custody of the body today?
- Can you send me your general price list?
- When can we schedule an arrangement conference?
If you already have a funeral home in mind, call them now. If not, we can help you find one.
You are not obligated to use the funeral home a hospital or hospice recommends. You can choose any licensed provider.
2.3
You've already chosen a funeral home
Since a funeral home has been contacted, the next step is preparing for the arrangement conference.
You're ahead of one of the hardest first steps. The funeral home will be your primary partner over the next several days — they'll handle the care of the body, file the death certificate, and guide you through the arrangement conference.
The arrangement conference is where most of the major decisions get made. It typically happens within 1–2 days of death.
Before the conference, it helps to have:
- The deceased's Social Security number
- A recent photo
- Any written wishes or pre-arrangement documents
- A trusted person to come with you
Your rights at the arrangement conference:
- You are entitled to an itemized price list before agreeing to anything
- You can decline any item
- You can take the price list home and compare before deciding
- You are not required to purchase a package
Bring someone with you. Grief impairs decision-making, and a second person can help you think through choices and remember what was discussed.
2.4
Understand death certificates and how many you'll need
Death certificates are your primary administrative key — you'll need more copies than you expect.
A death certificate is the official legal record of a person's death. You will need certified copies (not photocopies) to:
- Close bank accounts and transfer assets
- Claim life insurance benefits
- Transfer vehicle titles
- Notify Social Security and pension providers
- Handle real estate and estate matters
How many to order: Most families need 10–15 certified copies. It is significantly cheaper to order them all at once than to order more later.
Who files it: Your funeral home typically files the death certificate with the state on your behalf and orders certified copies for you. Ask them to include this in their services.
Cost: Certified copies typically cost $10–$25 each depending on the state.
Order more than you think you need. Running out and reordering is expensive and slow. 10–15 copies is the standard recommendation.
2.5
Confirm how many death certificates you've ordered
Tracking this now prevents the expensive problem of running short later.
When you speak with your funeral home, confirm how many certified copies of the death certificate they will order on your behalf.
If they are not ordering them for you, you can order them directly through your county vital records office or through a service like VitalChek.
2.6
Notify the deceased's employer
The employer needs to know promptly to stop payroll and begin benefit processes.
Contact the HR department of the person's employer as soon as possible. Ask about:
- Final paycheck — when it will be issued and how
- Accrued PTO — whether unused vacation or sick time is paid out
- Group life insurance — if they had employer-provided coverage, ask for the claims process
- COBRA — if you or dependents were on their health insurance, you have 60 days to elect COBRA continuation coverage
- Pension or 401(k) — ask about beneficiary claims and rollover options
If the person was self-employed, this step may not apply.
Ask for everything in writing. HR departments are generally helpful in these situations — don't hesitate to ask questions.